Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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