I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize