I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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