you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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