i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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