the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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