Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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