just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize