I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize