this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize