PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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