Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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