I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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