But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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