I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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