I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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