Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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