I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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