She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he laminated a picture of his dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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