Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize