Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize