my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize