so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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