Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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