I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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