the condom got lost in my hair
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize