it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize