You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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