When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize