Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize