Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
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he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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