grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize