I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize