I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize