smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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