I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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