I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize