I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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