Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize