awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize