plz talk dirty to me
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize