he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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