you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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