how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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