oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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