Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
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He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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