doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize