i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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