P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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