Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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